So...now that you've done this can you....?

Robert Cialdini has outlined a number of different request strategies, one of which is the foot-in-the-door technique. The foot-in-the-door technique can be defined as a two-step compliance technique where the person making the requests gets the individual to agree by first having the individual agree to a smaller request (Cialdini, 2007). In other words, this is a strategy that one would implement if he or she were trying to get someone to do something that this person would not otherwise agree to initially. Therefore, the requester asks their target to perform a very small task or favor (smaller in comparison to the ultimate task or favor). Following this, the requester can return to his or her target and ask him or her to perform the ultimate task or favor, and at this point, it is more likely that he or she will agree to do it. Why is this? This agreement can be attributed to a person's desire to be consistent with his or her self-perception. Because he or she has agreed in the past, then he or she feels that he or she must be consistent with previous actions and agree again. He or she is committed to being consistent, because we are consistency-seekers.

This concept can be applied to my life pretty much everyday. I have a friend who asks me for everything, and I have this sad problem of saying no. I just don't know how. At first, the requests were little things like borrowing items, or using things but would later be returned or I would be given some appreciative gesture. These were fine. As long as you know you show your appreciation for what I've done then I'm fine with you continually borrowing or using my things. However, it has now escalated to where I don't even get an appreciative acknowledgement. It almost feels more like commands when this person asks for things. These things are not little anymore either. They are acts that cost me time and money, both of which, as a college student, I do not have a lot of. In addition, it just gets really old because it happens everyday without fail. Also, I do not think this person understands that it has now become a burden for me to assist this person. I feel really bad, but I just don't think he or she understands that these grand gestures require me to go out of my way. I wish I could say no, but because I have said yes every time in the past, I feel like I can't. I also think he or she would no longer be happy with me and think that I am mad or something. I don't really know how to handle this situation, but I do know I won't have to deal with it much longer because school is almost over.

30 days until senior week begins.

Cialdini, R. B. (2007). Influence: The psychology of persuasion. New York: HarperCollins.